Cancer .:Frerard:.

He was dying and I couldn’t do anything about it, he was hurt. I couldn’t even see him. I would have to wait outside in the hallway, until 10 a.m., waiting to see him. He was beautiful; hair or no hair, asleep or awake, cancer or no cancer. I was constantly crying since he had been brought in this horrible, death-ridden place. The doctors couldn’t feed him right, nor keep enough water by his bed to drink. That’s why I stayed here, all of the time, thinking of him. Sleep was about to take over me when a doctor appeared in front of my tucked up body. I sleepily looked up to him, at first he was a mere blurry figure, then my vision focused.
“You may see him now if you’d like.” He whispered to me, telling that I was tired as hell. I nodded, and slowly got up and stretched. I grabbed my water bottle as I yawned, turned around and walked into the empty room across from were I was sitting. I saw the sleeping figure of my love; he shifted to face me as I sat in the chair next to his bed. His eyes remained closed as he moaned. Dreaming perhaps. He slowly opened his beautiful hazel eyes, let his vision focus and smiled a weak, painful smile to me. I smiled back, but my face obviously still had worry written all over it.
“Good morning, sweetie.” I whispered, and he put him hand in my hair and ruffled it.
“It looks like,” he paused to cough. “You need some sleep, Frankie bear.” He rasped. I chuckled quietly.
“Nah, I need you.” I protested. “Besides, I want to spend every moment of the rest of my life with you.” He laughed a weak, short laugh ending in a cough.
“I really don’t think that can be true, Frank. I’m counting down the days now. Maybe two weeks at the most. I’m sorry, but it’s true.” He said sadly. “I hope when I go, people will remember me for something. Most importantly, I want you to remember me. I don’t want you to mourn for the rest of your young life. Will you promise me that you will remember me, but not to be too sad?” he asked sweetly, holding out his pinky finger. I wrapped my pinky around his, and smiled to him, feeling a tear run down my cheek. “You just promised not to be too sad.” He teased, letting go to wipe my tear away.
“I just can’t imagine a life without you. I’d miss you so, so much.” I choked on my words, as more tears swelled up in my eyes, falling quickly down my cheeks. I put my face in my hands and started to sob. “Don’t die Gerard! I love you!” I pleaded, in an unexpected loud voice. He grabbed my wrist and sat up slowly. He pulled my hand away from my face, and smiled sweetly.
“It’s the way my life was planned, you just can’t go against it. I love you too, Frank. I’m sorry, but I am dying.” He said, just making me sob even harder.
“You can’t be dying! You don’t deserve this! I refuse to believe this shit!” I yelled, my vision clouded by the water in my eyes. I buried my face in my palms once again, sobbing loudly. Gerard only pulled my hand away again, and pulled my chin up.
“I’m sorry.” He repeated as he pulled our faces together, ending in a kiss. His chapped lips met mine quickly, they left the same. His finger left my chin and he lay back down. “I’m sorry.” He said quietly.
“But I don’t want to have to say good-bye. I can’t say good-bye.” I repeated. He looked up towards the ceiling. He stared at it for a while, and then looked back.
“Do you believe in an afterlife?” he asked, breaking the awkward silence. I looked to him, shocked by his question. I thought for a second. Do I? I finally gave Gerard my answer.
“Why not?” He smiled and looked back towards the ceiling. He closed his hazel eyes.
“Go home and sleep. But first,” he said looking back towards me “could you get me a drink of water, ‘cause my lips are chapped and faded.” He said sweetly. I grabbed his glass of water that stood on the nightstand next to me. I handed it to him carefully. I grabbed it and took a sip of it and handed it back. He smiled, and asked for a hug. I stood up and gave it to him, be careful not to crush his weak body.
“Can you hug me like you used to?” he asked as we hugged lightly.
“What do you mean, Gerard?” I asked, releasing my arms.
“Tightly, you used to hug me tightly. Now you don’t. It won’t hurt anymore than I already hurt.” He spread his arms for another hug; I decided to hug him tightly. Anything for my poor Gerard. “Thank you.” He whispered into my ear weakly. We released, I saw a huge grin stretched across his face, ear to ear. I blew him a kiss, and started for the door.
“No good-bye?” he asked, making me turn around. He was no longer grinning.
“I already said I couldn’t say good-bye to you.” I answered, hoping for his smile to return.
“I just hope you know, if you say good-bye today, I ask you to be true.” The words left his mouth almost like a poem, like a song. They came out sweetly and tenderly. I couldn’t help but shed another tear or two.
“I will, I promise.” I left the room, seeing him smile again. I drove home in the dark, and quickly. I hopped out of my car and walked to my doorstep, and saw a red rose with a note on it. I picked them up and walked inside. On the front it said ‘To Frankie Bear’. It was from Gerard. I quickly and carefully opened it. It had a piece of lined paper with messy writing on it. It read:
Dear Frankie,
I will always love you, even after I’m gone. Don’t be too sad after my soon departure. I will always be with you. Since day one I have hurt more of the fear of losing you rather than my cancer. I know I’m dying and that’s really hard for you to take. Just know that when I go, I will no longer be in pain, but I will be free. I will always remember you, and I hope you will always remember me. I hope you can still find happiness after I’m gone. I need you not to be upset. I need you to be happy, or I will not be happy in my afterlife. I hope you can find some sort of way to remember me, pictures, and this letter. Anything. Don’t hurt yourself and be careful. The world can be dangerous. I love you.
Love,
Gerard Way
I started to cry, this letter was too sad. I ran to my room with the rose and the letter in my hand. I threw myself on my bed and started to sob. The thought of forgetting him was even worse than the thought of losing him. That night, I cried myself to sleep, still holding the rose and letter.
I awoke to the phone screaming at me. I answered it, and a deep voice came on. It spoke quickly, but I could still understand the gibberish. “Mr. Frank Iero wished to be informed of the near death of Mr. Gerard Way. That time is now; he has about an hour to live. This is your last chance to see him in the living condition. Better hurry.” The click of the phone sounded, and I threw the phone and ran to the front door. I jumped in my car and rushed down to the freeway, and noticed that I still had my rose. I carefully put it on the seat next to me.
I sped down the freeway and got to the hospital in hardly anytime at all. I ran to the door and up the flights of stairs. I had no time to wait for a slow going elevator. I kept thinking of Gerard. My tears clouded my sight, and I fell at the top step. I got up and ran the next flight. I finally got to his floor and ran down the near empty hallway to his room. I burst through the door. Everyone was there. His parents, Mikey, his good friends Ray and Bob. I was the last one to arrive. He looked over to me and rasped my name. I sat in the seat next to him and grabbed his hand. No one knew that we loved each other, so my good-bye couldn’t be as true as I had hoped. He looked over to me and smiled that smile that goes ear to ear. I smiled back, and more tears fell.
“Don't go yet.” I whispered to him, low enough for no one to hear. “’Cause I love you.” He looked back and gripped my hand tightly, his smile gone.
“It's my time to go.” He whispered back. I tightened my grip on his hand, and started crying harder.
“Don’t go, please….” I pleaded. “Please.” I looked back towards him and he leaned off the side of his bed and kissed my lips. I was shocked at first, but then fell into. Ours lips stayed pressed for what it seemed like, forever. His lips left mine and he said, aloud for everyone to plainly hear, “I love you, Frank.” My tears were streaming down my face like a waterfall now.
“I love you too, Gerard.” He smiled to me.
“Good-bye.” He said almost silently. His gripped lightened. He was gone. That was our last kiss, our last ‘I love you’, our last good-bye. I clenched onto his hand. I thought everyone would have been shocked to find out we were in love with each other. Instead, Gerard’s mom came over and said,
“Thanks for making his last moment happy and love filled.” I looked back to Gerard’s face; it still had the grin on it. He used to grin like that every time we kissed. He lay there, grinning and looking up to the ceiling. He was gone forever, I would never hear his voice again, and I’d never feel his lips meet mine again. I'd never be able to say ‘I love you’ and have him answer, ‘cause he was gone.
I went home later and found yet another note and red rose, but he was already gone. How could this happen? I opened it on my doorstep and this one read:
Dear Frank,
I’m gone and have figured out that there is an afterlife. And I’ll be spending it by your side; I’ll always be there for you. ‘Cause I love you, and there no break of the bond of love. Thank you for making my last moments on Earth enjoyable and happy. You made my death a whole lot easier. I promise to always be by your side no matter where you go. I’ll always love you, and you should know that. I hope it won’t be too hard on you; I hate to see you cry. But if you do, I will comfort you in any way that I can. I love you.
Love,
Gerard Way

Three months later

I had gotten over his death easily, though I’d still cry myself to sleep every once and a while. Everyday, no matter what, I’d visit his grave, bringing his favorite red roses. I’d sit in the sunshine, the rain, the snow and talk to him. Some people passing by in the cemetery would think I was crazy, talking to Gerard. I knew I wasn’t. I’d talk to him for hours and hours each day, at sunset. I’d tell him what happened, and how much I missed him and loved him. I think he could plainly see how much I was devoted to seeing him each day. Sometimes, I’d cry. When I did, I felt warmness through me. I knew it was him hugging me. He always used to hug me when I cried, and he still would. Sure I missed him, but I could still feel him by my side each day.